Lonely and Dreaming of the West Coast

A year ago I wrote about the complete awesomeness of Jay-Z and Alicia Keyes' "Empire State of Mind" and wondered why a state as great as California hasn't inspired the same intense musical love that New York has.

I still stand by that earlier assessment, but the NPR show "The California Report" is doing its best to dissuade me. In collaboration with listeners, producers of the show have compiled a list of more than 80 songs about the Golden State that is now streaming online. The list seems somewhat heavily weighed toward Northern California (which makes a bit of sense seeing as "The California Report" is produced in San Francisco) and is by no means complete (no Bad Religion? only one Red Hot Chili Peppers' song?), but it's a decent list that spans about 100 years of popular music.

In honor of my beloved state, another song that was sadly left off the list, but always ranks highly with me, Everclear's "Santa Monica."

Pointy Hat Made of Felt

Wow, it's been a really long time since I last posted here. I still intend to run down all the concerts I went to in 2010 because I went to quite a few and they were all awesome. In the meantime here's something I posted nearly six years ago on my old blog.

I found it in an issue of Esquire in 2005, laughed myself nearly sick the first time I read it and had to share it. All this time later, it still makes me laugh.

This is dedicated to all the working stiffs out there. I hope life is treating you well and that you're able to take full advantage of the holiday weekend.

Quiz: Time to Quit Your Job?
Sun and surf beckon. Is it time to bag the office life? Take this useful test and find out.

By Brian Frazer

1. When the alarm clock goes off in the morning you’re …
A. psyched to hop in the shower and start your day (1)
B. cursing. (2)
C. crying. (3)
D. wishing you were handicapped so you’d never have to leave your bed. (4)

2. Which person is most like your boss?
A. Gandhi (1)
B. Ben Affleck (2)
C. Hitler (3)
D. Paula Abdul (4)

3. How long is your commute?
A. Less than a half-hour (1)
B. More than a half-hour (2)
C. Long enough to contemplate driving into oncoming traffic three times (4)

4. What is your mandatory work outfit?
A. None, thank you very much! (1)
B. Suit and tie (2)
C. Suit and bow tie (3)
D. Pointy hat made of felt (4)

5. What do your coworkers do for your birthday?
A. Lobster lunch with champagne and cake (1)
B. Ignore you (2)
C. Punch you in the arm while counting off your years (3)
D. Light you on fire (4)

6. What percentage of your day is spent doing something a nine-year-old retarded girl could do?
A. None (1)
B. 3 percent (2)
C. 50 percent (3)
D. Uh, how severely retarded? (4)

7. What is the number-one benefit you get at work?
A. Learning stuff and whatnot (1)
B. Health insurance (2)
C. Krispy Kremes (3)
D. Black Lung (4)

8. What do you see while you’re working?
A. An amazing view of the city. Crikey, is it beautiful! (1)
B. Lots and lots of graffiti (2)
C. The back of someone’s dandruffy mullet (3)
D. Nothing since the bleach accident (4)

Answer Key: Add up the points assigned to each answer you chose.
1 to 9 points: Stay where you are.
10 to 19 points: Start working on that résumé.
20 to 26: Get fired: collect unemployment.
27 to 33: Apply for a migrant-worker gig.

Is It Getting Better ...

"One" may very well be U2's most-famous song, and maybe it's because of that that the song stirs up quite a lot of debate in the U2 fan community. Since its live debut in the early 1990s, the song has been a concert mainstay and the moment when concertgoers grab their lighters or cell phones to light up the night sky if they love the song, or just wait for the whole thing to be over if they don't.

I do love this song, quite a bit, actually, but I can see how easy it would be for some people to be over it. It is one of the few U2 songs that gets any real radio play anymore, which is so absurd considering this comes from a band with well over 500 songs to its credit, the worst of which run circles around most of today's biggest pop hits.

For nearly 20 years, "One" has managed to hold on, becoming a pop culture hallmark (as evidenced by that Bank of America version a few years back or "Glee's" cover last season) because it's a fantastic, moving, honest song that speaks to people in bad times and in good. That's why I love it.

I think Bono has given a different interpretation for the song each time he's interviewed about it. It's definitely about a relationship, but the exact relationship changes, it's either romantic, platonic or familial. I've tended to connect with the song on the family level, thinking of it after run ins with particular family members I have very strained relationships with. The song fits those relationships so perfectly that I've been tempted to send it off those family members, hoping they'd understand what I hear when Bono sings, "Did I ask too much? More than a lot? You gave me nothing, now it's all I got" or, "I can't be holding on to what you've got when all you've got is hurt." I couldn't have said it better myself.

That's my take on it, based completely on my life, my relationships and my experiences. Like all great art, "One's" meaning changes depending on the audience. A song that garners so many different reactions and interpretations can't have just one video, so U2 made three. I think Anton Corbijn's original version shot in Berlin is my favorite, but Phil Joanou's New York City version is also very special, so I share it with you now. Watch, listen, enjoy and find your own connection to "One."

Easy A

I've grown up in a world where teen culture has consistently ruled. It started with the baby boomers, my mom's generation, the first generation to prove that teenagers were a worthy market to pander to, so, as a result, books, television, music and movies have been created specifically for this group but consumed by all the rest of us.

I've been consuming teen media since I was around six and my babysitter would watch "Square Pegs." From there, it was the John Hughes oeuvre, "Saved by the Bell," teen magazines, NKOTB, "Clueless" and on and on. As I've gotten older, my appreciation for teen culture hasn't waned. Well into my twenties I was watching all that The N (now Teen Nick) and the pre-Miley Cyrus Disney Channel had to offer. I will stop to watch "A Cinderella Story," "John Tucker Must Die" and other better-quality teen movies whenever they're on TV.

Like I wrote a few months ago when I got the "Daria" DVD set, I think all these teen stories still appeal to me, and to so many other people ("Gossip Girl" wouldn't be as popular as it is if only teenagers watched), because, even as adults, we don't have it figured out and we don't always fit in.

That struggle is what "Easy A" is all about. The clever premise and fantastic cast piqued my interest earlier this year when I first saw the trailers and pop-ups at the movie theater, and I was happy that I finally got to see it tonight. The movie is so smart and funny and ultimately honest, but still romantic and fantastic and hopeful. It shows how terrible girls can be to one another, how human teachers and parents are, and how hard it is to be different, but then it does have the well-deserved justice that rarely seems to come in real life, and the perfect guy coming at the perfect time and saying the perfect thing in the most-perfect way imaginable.

In case you've missed it, here's the preview:



Emma Stone carries the movie effortlessly as Olive, too smart for her own good and too awkward to catch a break. Patricia Clarkson, Stanley Tucci, Thomas Haden Church and Lisa Kudrow are fantastic as the mostly well-meaning adults. The friends and foes at Olive's school are equally great; particularly Amanda Bynes as the self-important leader of the school Christian club and Penn Badgley as Olive's perfect guy, and maybe mine, too.

After seeing the also-great "Scott Pilgrim vs. The World" on its opening weekend in a nearly empty theater, I was so glad to see "Easy A," now two weeks old, in a theater that was more than half-full. It not only does my heart good to see people flocking to a movie as smart as "Easy A," this kind of success can only lead to more teen movies being made that are just like it, clever, funny, sweet and worth seeing again and again.

Off the subject, but OMG, tonight's "Simpsons" may be the best yet with appearances by the cast of "Glee," Flight of the Conchords and Ira Glass.

Please

OK, taking another entry from John Mayer because what he's writing has once again clicked with me. I think we all get into the habit of talking ourselves out of doing things before we even try. Why? Of course things could go all pear-shaped, but they could also go completely right.

Whether it's something as relatively minor as cutting your hair or something potentially life-changing like going for a new job, give it a go! You could end up having an experience so great it becomes one of your best stories. You could learn a fantastic lesson that sends you on a better course. You could meet someone who sets your world on its head for a bit.

Whatever the outcome, it's worth it to try. What's the alternative? If you constantly talk yourself out of doing or trying or being anything, you're left with nothing.

I went to my last concert of the summer last night and do promise that very, very soon I will be summing up my summer with Carole King & James Taylor, Ringo & His All-Starr Band, Kevin Smith & Jason Mewes, John Mayer, and Green Day. Until then, John Mayer's latest journal entry:

Please

I’m not out to please everybody - I’ve actually been out to try not to displease anybody, and that’s even harder work. It’s like Prozac for creativity - cutting off the highs and lows and the risks and the rewards so that nobody walks away from a show or listens to an album with a passionate enough take on what they didn’t like. Maybe I’ll take ten minutes each show for the rest of this tour and just play shit I love but think might turn people off. Then when the tour is done I’m going to take a good long nap and work on becoming irrelevant. I think that’s what’s bugged me so much about the last few weeks of stupid media speculation. I’ve been hard at work since spring trying to become irrelevant in all the places where being relevant gave me a headache and made me rock my right leg back and forth and made me ask my therapist if my heroes’ ghosts would hate me and basically take a match to the bottom of any moment with half a shot of being a proud one. I think I owe it to my fans to disregard them during the making of an album. Writing music while also writing a future negative review of the music is a really great way to make slop. Of course, then I’d still be aware that I was trying to be unaware, so right there I’ve got the makings of a head-shaped hole in my own ass. Do you see what I’m saying here? If I don’t risk it all on tape soon I’m going to be in trouble. I need to be loud. Slightly out of tune. Stick around in a solo a little too long. Maybe not know exactly what I’m doing and let that be the document.

See? I almost did it again. I just told myself that I shouldn’t post this because maybe people would think I didn’t enjoy the tour I was on, which I absolutely love. I just considered the consideration, which is what I said I wouldn’t do. So now I’m definitely posting this. I’m excited. I keep talking about how I’m going to disappear on a ranch somewhere when really I’m going to go straight into a studio. But when I do I’m going to waste lots of time. Which really isn’t wasting time, it’s giving myself some room to play and jam and experiment. But I have to call it wasting time because my preset is to walk out of the studio on day two and have a “big” song with only a missing line in the bridge. I should call it what it is - being a musician and experimenting and not caring about anything else but what’s hiding inside and what I need to get out, no matter how long that takes. I need to make what I think is shit, which will be nothing close to shit. It’ll just be free.

This is how I talk when I get excited for the future but still have to live through the present. Oh, well. I’m gonna go track down a sandwich.

Two Quarters and a Heart Down

Listening to my iPod today for the first time in ages. Proud to save I haven't skipped past a single song because they've all rocked, every one of them has been a nice surprise, a window on a happy memory, a path down a lovely escape route. With decent headphones, everything is amplified.

The song that got me hardest today was Fall Out Boy's "Dance, Dance." I've listened to that song hundreds of times since first catching FOB fever (OK, Pete Wentz fever followed by Patrick Stump fever) three years ago, but I guess my car speakers are way worse than I thought because this was the first time I really, truly heard the song, and damn it's great.

The talented and adorable Patrick Stump was lustfully chatting all those sweet nothings in my ear and I couldn't concentrate on my editing for a minute. Praise that rock 'n roll music!

I have shows to report on and other goodness to share, but all of that will have to wait until another day, this afternoon is all about sharing the Fall Out Boy love. The guys got a bum rap, being cast into that guilty pleasure pit, and are now scampering off to do other projects, conquer the world in new ways, but the young, adorable, full-of-bravado versions I was first introduced to will always hold a special place in my heart.

I don't see how anyone can watch this video and not fall for Pete or Patrick or Joe or Andy (or all of them) just a little bit. I also don't see how you can sit calmly in your seat when this song comes on, it's called "Dance, Dance" for a reason.

Simple

First things first, the African Well Fund did win one of the $20,000 donations in Chase Community Giving today so thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for casting votes and asking everyone you know to do the same. This is truly a case of a few people working together to make a positive change in the world, because of 1,503 votes thousands of people are going to have access to clean water and sanitation. Thank you!

And now for something completely different. I think I should just have John Mayer write journal entries for me, because so much of what he writes matches up with how I feel or somehow manages to shine a light on something I've been investigating for a while.

In his downtime before the North American leg of his summer tour launches (orchestra seats for Irvine in August, hell yeah!), he took the time to share this with all his readers, and now I share it with you.

Simple.
I wish that when I was younger I could have met my current self. We would have sat down at a coffee shop so that I could explain life to young me in terms that only we would understand. It would have saved me a lot of hardship.

You can listen to all the sage wisdom you want, but things only make sense when you can explain them to yourself in your own words. For instance, I’ve been told for three years that Breaking Bad is the best show on television, but only after I watched it was I able to tell myself exactly why everyone was right. Other truths I know now that I can explain them: that I’m not missing any crucial information and that poker really isn’t all that fun; that heartbreaks do fade but they take about a year longer than you expect and by the time they do you really don’t care about it enough to notice; and above all else, life is simpler than you think.

I used to think that life was an intricate series of levers and pulleys, buttons and switches, Mexican standoffs and hostage negotiations. As I get older I realize that life is more Netherlands minimalist than Jackson Pollock. The problems don’t get fewer, and in fact they grow in number, but the way I index them in the database is different. More problems get filed under fewer category headers.

Things are getting simpler, and it’s making life better. Here’s the cheat sheet:

People want to be liked. We all crave attention and affection and we all reject shame. When we get embarrassed we send a thug version of ourselves to the forefront to do our fighting for us. We’re at the top of the food chain just under fear. We don’t want to be in a relationship to hear the words “I love you,” we want to be in a relationship to say the words “I love you.” We want to feel needed, and exceptional and we hate feeling insignificant. We want to ace a hearing test. We are binary creatures; if we’re the plaintiff, we want to win every dollar. If we’re the defendant, we want guard every penny. We want to make more money than last year. We don’t want to get cancer or die in our cars and we want the same for our loved ones. We go out on weekends to try and have sex while trying not to get punched in the face. We drink so we can be ourselves and not mind it so much. We’re desperate to be understood. We want to know someone else has felt it, too. We hate being judged unfairly. We want to make the person we heard wasn’t all that into us change their minds and admit they had us wrong. We want sunny skies with a chance of killer tornadoes, just to keep music sounding good. We take hours upon hours to admit to self consciousness. We don’t know exactly how to pleasure each other. We just want love. In any and every form.

See? It’s simple. :)