Friday, January 17, 2014

'That's the Way Love Goes'

I've written before about how much I enjoy being a fan. I'm a collector, an aficionado, an enthusiast, an analyst. Or, as Abed Nadir so plainly put it, "I guess I just like liking things."

A relationship develops between the fan and the artist or media they adore, with give and take on both sides. For instance, when John Mayer takes a break in nearly every concert to thank all of us for still coming to the shows, for still buying the albums, for sticking up for him, for having his back, it feels completely natural to me that I would do all those things in exchange for him regularly hitting the studio, pouring out his heart, taking it out and the road and so forth. We each get something out of the deal.

But, as with relationships, sometimes the bond is broken, sometimes you have to say goodbye. I used to decry the glee people felt in being over things, a crime I repeatedly witnessed on those list shows VH1 used to run, where some critic or comedian would talk so dismissively about a song or video or artist that was once so huge, because it was somehow better to sneer at the video for A-Ha's "Take on Me" than to admit that you still like it. To me, being over things was one of the crappiest ways to act cool.

Now I wonder how else can a fan respond if they're consistently let down, if the quality slips, if the message is muddied, if the focus shifts, if the edges are sanded down, if the spark is gone? Do you stick it out, keep tuning in week after week, keep going to shows, keep buying tickets even though you're disappointed every time? Or do you cut your losses, say goodbye and just get over it?

I'm choosing the latter. I'm not rolling my eyes as I do, I'm not sharpening my knives as I do, at least I'm trying not to. I don't understand the point of devoting time, attention and affection to a TV show or artist or whatever when the product infuriates or deflates or numbs you. It's so easy to turn the channel or dive into the archives or seek out something enjoyable than to give anything over to something that's not really giving you anything back.

With that in mind, sadly, I think I'll be saying goodbye to "New Girl," just like I did with "How I Met Your Mother," "The Big Bang Theory" and "Modern Family." To me, there's not the same there that used to be there. I don't have the same reaction I used to. I think I'm just over it and instead of cursing the flaws that are now so glaring to me, I'm letting it go and will surely find something else to take its place.

Whether that new "relationship" stands the test of time or not is still to be seen, but at least I know that if it does go south, it's OK to get over that, too.